these few days..

hmm.. these few days have been pretty introspective..again..haha.. what actually are we struggling everyday for?? why are we living?? from the day we arrive in this world.. haha..we are heading towards death.. many of us live through the days working..day after day...well some "enjoy" their lives more..yet at the end of the years we lie on somewhere...dying.. and what happens after that? do all the achievements in life count for anything? haha...does it matter? haha.. the difference between the big names in history and the everyday people is that we REMEMBER the big names...so is that all?? leaving behind memories of ourselves after we die?? haha...leaving behind memories...no matter that a person is cursed or mourned after his/her death... leaving memories aint that hard a thing to do, no?
well...personally..i rather people mourn me than to curse me..haha... and that my memories are spent with someone i love...haha someone... hmm.. it seems so impossible to find that someone..haha.. i tink i was quite happy when im antisocial lei... not bothering what others feel.. not feeling for anyone... just go through everyday by myself.. haha...but hor... who to mourn my memories? who to create those precious memories with? on the other hand.. is it worth the emotional drain lei...
of course i need to change something very fundamental about me...haha..thats treating the one i like ..... as if shes the most important person...people say im nice.. hahhaah.. thats just a nice way to say im soft bah..no opinions..not decisive... in my own defence, i dun like to impose my will on others..asking for ur opinion is because i respect u..so if people tinks im soft because of that..to hell with u all =)